Thursday, 3 July 2014

5th Year Anniversary

We grew up in the same small Ipoh town. I’m pretty sure we’ve bumped into each other more than a few times when we were little. I went to the same kindergarten as your brother and even performed on stage with him. How ironic thinking that you were there watching me sing and dance not knowing that I was going to be your life partner. We might have looked at each other eye to eye and may have even held hands. How sweet it would be if those moments were captured for us to look back and laugh about it. I would frame it and hang it on our wall for sure.

As we grew up, you were in an all-boys school and I was in all-girls school, St Michael Institution and SM Convent Ipoh to be precise. We definitely never see each other during our school days except when I did my form 6 in your school. The number of girls was limited there, so I’d say all of us were the limelight of the school for a while. LOL. Too bad you were not there as you went to SM Teknik. You were still attached to the school though and we actually went camping together with Persatuan Kadet Remaja Sekolah. I even snapped your picture without realising you were there. We never noticed each other too. I bet both of us were pretty ugly during our school days, sun burned, acne covered and all.

Then we grew up separated from each other. We met again as we were called to be the facilitator for St Michael Institution students in UiTM Seri Iskandar. Only then we noticed each other. You were the photographer and I realised that you were aiming the camera at me most of the time (so perasan gone case..LOL). But yes, my face was in most of the pictures taken (so not so perasan was I?).  We even had a picture together back then. Alas, a couple we were.

We were separated again for almost 3 years with no contact at all. You had a couple of other love stories and I had one while we were apart (what we call ‘cinta monyet’..yes..monyet sgt!..hahaha) No biggie, I’m open up to being friends with all of them. We started contacting each other again when both of us had a job of our own and the rest was history.

I’m yours and you’re mine now. After exactly 5 years of marriage, we’re blessed with 3 beautiful boys (yes, their beauty came from you. LOL) But of course, where else would they get it from? I’m reminded of you every second of my life in every breath that I take. I hope that we will still be soooo in love with each other till Jannah. InsyaAllah. May Allah bless our marriage forever and ever. Let’s hold hands and walk through tough times together as we did all this while. All I know is, I’m so in love with you. Thank you for being the greatest husband and the greatest daddy. Our children simply adore you. Happy 5th Anniversary Abang! 


Monday, 28 April 2014

The Home Water Birth After 2 Cesarean (HWBA2C) of Baby Yang Syahmi

Today marks the 3rd month after the hwba2c of baby Yang Syahmi. The best experience ever in my life. I was so afraid of birthing after being cut open twice but hubby & I have always dreamed of a big family. Luckily I found 'ICAN Malaysia / VBAC Support' group on facebook before conceiving Syahmi.

                          Yang Syahmi with his 2y 4m old elder brother Yang Syafiy

Convincing hubby wasn't easy too as he was raised by a nurse (my MIL). He was also being showered with negative infos by the doctors, magazines, newspapers which all emphasized the risks of vbamc. I signed us up for AMANI classes with Hanz Jamaludin without informing him & told him it was already paid for so it would be a waste not to attend.

After what felt like dragging a heavy log to the first class since he was still reluctant to go, he was eager to learn more on gentle birth & vbamc as now he sees that it is achievable & had been done before..lots of times in fact by others. He ended up googling for more infos & videos of gentle births.  I wanted to boost his confidence by seeing a supportive obgyn, so we went to Colombia Asia Balakong to see Dr Haw who opened up a new door for us. He was supportive & stated all the positive possibilities without denying the risks involved. I was healthy throughout the pregnancy, Alhamdulillah & that was what made my hubby & I more confident in pursuing what used to be my dream. It became our dream. 

All I feared was baby being overdue & he did, exactly like his elder brothers. 40 weeks 5 days. I had the strong surges for quite a while. 2 and a half days to be precise. This was expected based on other successful vbac stories. I've been climbing up & down the stairs to our home on the 7th floor that week. What started the surges was the 'rojak buah' with extra pineapple that I had the day before while walking at Dataran Putra. I managed 2 rounds of the huge dataran.

It felt like Allah was washing away my sins through the surges (forgive me dear Allah for I have sinned). Pool had been inflated weeks before & I had been in & out of the pool for the whole 2 days. Hubby was great at making sure that the water was warm enough all the time (it was hard work he said). I bear with the surges with humming through it. It felt like forever. I can't eat at all, not even dates & had a few sips of milo during that period. So I was pretty weak but still so aware of what's going on.

28/01/14. The day. I actually said to baby that I'm gonna turn myself in if he doesn't come out that day & gave him up till 7 pm to make an appearance. LOL . Luckily hubby sent the children earlier that morning. He even asked me if it was okay if he wants to go to the car wash. I told him to come home cause I know that was it. During the transition period, the humming gets louder, more like groans. Told hubby that I gave up, that that was a mistake & all I wanted to do was sleep.

Tears came streaming down. Hubby told me that I did great & he believed in me. Told me to concentrate on the sensation. I remembered telling him 'this is not sensations anymore, this is pain'..sigh. But that was when I reached down & felt a very thick rubber coming out & immediately told hubby to get ready & stay in the pool with me. He was not with me the whole time for I told him not to be there. I might get distracted. Weird cause I know some moms would love their husband's company. He even asked if he could record the moment & I said I looked horrible & refused. Regretted that much soon after. After being in the pool with me for about 2 hours, & I tried 3 different positions for labour, I ended up squating holding my legs close to me when baby popped out easily. Alhamdulillah.

The moment we had been longing for. The 9 months journey was used fully to equip ourselves with gentle birth knowledge before the big decision was made. Hubby was so happy & proud of his achievement of being the first person to hold his baby & I was so happy to be able to hold him seconds after he was born. Held him up skin to skin & fed him immediately. He actually looked up at me as if saying "I'm great mama, you did great too, we're a great team". Happy tears then. I was so energized & was not sleepy anymore after that.  Yang Syahmi turned out to be a very calm & content baby. Cried only if he was sleepy or hungry & very sound if I managed to feed or put him to sleep first.

Hubby called the ambulance that arrived 5 mins later. Fast huh..that's how near the hospital is to our home. They cut the cord & brought us to the hospital for the placenta delivery. I wish I had done that at home too but hubby said he wants to make sure we're alright. I had my vba2c, so i succumbed to his wish. Pregnant moms & pregnant nurses came to me & asked how did I managed the vba2c as they were in the same shoes as I was. So there goes the grandma story of the birth of Yang Syahmi. Came out 3.5 kg n turned 6.7 kg in his 2nd month. The power of breast milk, but that's another story to tell. Happy birthing mommies. May all of you be blessed with the best birthing experience. InsyaAllah.

p/s: I wish my mother and sisters were there to support me too but I understand how concerned they were of my & my baby's safety. They looked up a lot on the risks of VBACs. Now that we succeded, I hope they would look up more on the positive side of it. Look up also on the negative side of multiple cesarean. It is way worse than VBACs in my opinion.

We went for check ups with the doctors & still accept their opinions. I can say all of them had their own personal opinion on birthing. We just ended up choosing the positive side of the whole process of birth. The most important thing is to make sure that you're knowledgeable enough of what should be done. Be informed before making your own dream birthing decision.

Oh my love, laugh & life..truly blessed. Subhanallah. Alhamdulillah.

Thursday, 4 October 2012


Assalamualaikum mommies2  semua..

Sebelum kita mula menyusukan anak, mmg kita mesti kumpul ilmu sikit sebanyak ttg penyusuan ni terutamanya ibu2 yg bekerja mcm saya. Biasanya, kita tak didedahkan dengan ilmu2 ni sebelum kita melahirkan mcm sy jgk dan ramai yg dpt ilmu ni melalui pengalaman sendiri dan ada yg tak berjaya utk menyusukan anak pertama sepenuhnya sehingga usia 2 thn. Tapi mmg dh pasang niat tersebut. Bagus, 'mindset' tu penting..=)

Kebanyakan ibu2 yang tak dapat menyusukan anak memberikan alasan bahawa susu mereka tidak cukup/ kering. Pada pendapat saya, Allah telah menjadikan kita sesempurna makhluk di dunia ini dan sudah menjadi lumrah kehidupan utk seorang ibu itu menyusukan anaknya. Mcmmana nenek moyang kita boleh survive tanpa susu formula? Sah2 mereka juga susukan anak masing2..

Okaylah, mari kita mulakan ‘sekolah penyusuan’ kita ye mommies. Perkara yang paling penting yang patut mommies faham adalah konsep demand & supply. Apa tu? Macam dalam ekonomi jgk. Katakan kita (peniaga) menjual ikan di pasar. Katakan kita ada 10 ekor ikan utk dijual. Itu dikira sbg supply (penawaran). Tiba2 yg nk beli ikan (pembeli) ramai plk..20 orang. Maka, tak dapatlah kt penuhi permintaan mereka hari tu. Adakah kt sebagai peniaga akan duduk sj? Tak kan..mesti kt akan usaha untUk dapatkan bekalan ikan yg lebih, tak kira la pancing sendiri ke, dptkan dari nelayan di pelabuhan ke atau apa saja usaha yg boleh dibuat bg memenuhi permintaan (demand) ikan yg lebih td utk keesokan harinya.

Konsep di atas sm jgk dgn susu ibu..badan kita dh set berapa oz susu yg anak kt minum. Kalau mommies rs susu merudum, tgk balik jadual penyusuan kt. Katakan anak biasanya bf 3 jam sekali, tp mungkin sbb leka, dia x mintak susu lebih dr 3 jam, itu dh kira gangguan dlm penghasilan susu ibu. Otak kita akan mendapat signal bahawa supply dh terlebih so kena kurangkan. Esknya merudum la hasil susu. Padahal kita mmg nk maintain hasil susu yg ada. So, kaedahnya mommies..kalau anak terskip 1 sesi penyusuan iaitu lebih dr ms biasa dia menyusu, kt mesti rajin n pam susu tersebut. 

Okay, ada yg tanya kalau susu mmg x ckup mcm mana nk tambahkan production? Sy dh lukis graf di atas utk buat mommies faham. Sy mmg suka ekonomi dulu..hehe. Macam peniaga td, setelah mendapati demand lebih dr supply, dia berusaha dgn pelbagai jgk la kt..kalau Mama B jeles dgn Mama A, dia mesti rajin berusaha (initiatives) melalui pam susu terutamanya lepas susukan anak/ tandem iaitu pam semasa susukan anak/ buat power pumping..Banyak info psl power pumping kt internet ni. Okay soalan mommies lg..’Tp pam pn xde susu mcm mane?’..hehe..Mmg itu la konsepnya..kt pam je walaupun pam angin semata-mata..bukan nk buang masa tp utk hantar signal kt otak kt yg lebih susu diperlukan..kalau kt amalkan pam selalu, bila otak kt dh dpt signal tu, badan kt pn automatik akan hasilkan susu yg lebih mcm Mama bukan serta merta ye mommies. Ikut badan org jgk. Ada yg sehari n ada yg seminggu dh nmpak kesan..fahamkan konsep (lebih demand - lebih supply) n (kurang demand - kuranglah supply)..tu je..yang penting kita yakin pd diri sendiri dan kuasa Yang Maha Esa..Allah dh aturkan segalanya dengan sempurna. 

Happy breastfeeding mommies..xoxo!!

p/s: Sila buang tanggapan bahawa supplement yg beratus2 ringgit tu akan menambahkan susu ibu ye. Kalau kt ambil 100 jenis supplement pn tp tak susukan anak n pam secara konsisten, confirm susu akan merudum jgk. Elok boleh save bila kt susukan anak sbb tak beli susu fomula, membazir pula beli supplement yg belum tentu kesannya. Ingat ye mommies. Baik gunakan duit tu utk beli pam yg hebat or pg holiday dgn family kat pulau..hehehe..;-)

Thursday, 2 August 2012

Breastfeeding (Mindset plays the biggest role)

Salam Ramadhan. I just came back from a forum on ‘World’s Breastfeeding Week’ at Auditorium Kompleks E in Putrajaya. I was hoping to bump into any of my breastfeeding support group on facebook ‘Kumpulan Ibu Menyusukan (KIM)’ but did not as I sat on the front rows..sigh..oh, and I left early too right after the forum ended as it was already over my pumping time..;p

 It was pretty interesting to know that the breastfeeding rate in Malaysia is increasing. Alhamdulillah, I was glad to hear that but do you know the statistics of it? Only less than 15% of Malaysian actually breastfeed their babies if I heard it correctly. Oh my..why? Some of the panels listed the reasons given by the mothers themselves which is:

1. They’re women with careers so they do not have the time.
2. They do not want their breasts to go out of shape.
3. They do not have enough milk.
4. They went for a c-sect, so it is not easy to breastfeed.

I’m no expert but through my experience and the experience of other breastfeeding mothers that I’ve shared, the reasons above are just the mindset which you can overcome by educating yourselves with enough breastfeeding information. Let’s look deeper into the problems ya..

Problem 1
Many breastfeeding women nowadays are working mothers including myself. There are lots of breastfeeding gears sold in the market to fulfil the task of expressing milk. You do not need so much time for you can actually pump while working at the same time. All you have to do is to search for the best kind of pump may it be manual or electric pump that would suit you and your career. My list of breastfeeding gears that I bring to the office daily includes:

i) Medela Harmony Manual Breastpump
ii) Cooler bag
iii) 2-3 ice packs
iv) 6-7 milk storage bottles/plastic bags

and that’s it. Not such a fuss come to think of it since you only have to do so in only 2 years if you’re planning to breastfeed your babies for 2 years that is. Come on mommies. You will see the benefits in so many ways immediately and even more later in life.

Problem 2
You were already out of shape while being pregnant..hehe.. Truthfully, I do not believe so, for many of my breastfeeding friends do have beautiful figures still and some even more beautiful while breastfeeding. We’re not growing any younger anyways, so your figure will definitely change in time my dears. Make use of our body the way it’s made for, I should say. Oh and the best part can eat as much as you want and still loose pounds ladies. Am I in shape?..Alhamdulillah so far I can say yes, I am..(I tried to search for my current picture, then realised that there's none of me alone without the family..oh well..pregnancy sometimes made you lose your confidence on the way you look..need to capture some soon)..;p

Problem 3
Haaa..the most commonly given reason by most non breastfeeding mothers out there. If so, how can some people feed their adopted babies?.. Do they have milk since they did not give birth to the babies?.. This means that milk production can be stimulated especially when you were the one who gave birth to your baby. It’s all on your mind. There are many ways of stimulating milk production such as power pumping. Our brain should be given the signal that more milk is needed and in time it will increase the production. Demand and supply concept mommies. Learn them. 

My experience, my milk was produced 3 days after delivering my first baby. That was when he was diagnosed with severe jaundice. I broke down and tried for the first time pumped as much milk as I can and all I get is about 1 and a half oz of milk. I was not informed that it was enough. A newborn baby’s tummy is the size of a cherry, so it was more than enough. I also never thought that that particular pumping session was how my milk was stimulated but it was. Soon after, my breasts were full and I get to feed my baby every 2 hours and he was well in only 2 days Alhamdulillah. Now I manage to breastfeed both my babies at the same time. My advise is, do not compare your milk production with other mothers because your body is especially designed to produce enough amount of milk needed by your babies.

Problem 4
Okay..this one I cannot accept at all for both my babies were delivered through c-sect but I still manage to breastfeed both of them. Ask your doctors and nurses around to guide you. It is possible and it does not hurt at all come to think of it. The part that was cut open was your tummy and not your breasts..hehe..well okay, of course the tummy part hurts, but why waste time concentrating on the pain when you have a much more beautiful and precious little ones to pay attention to..your me, they will definitely ease the pain away from you..

How could you not want to feed these 2 beautiful little angels?..

All I know is that if you have the mindset of breastfeeding your little ones, God will definitely help you along the journey. InsyaAllah..There are many support groups that you can join to increase your knowledge about breastfeeding so feel free to join them. Dig as much knowledge as you can even when you're not a mother yet. The knowledge will come in handy in the future. Happy Breastfeeding Mommies..=)

Friday, 22 June 2012

A mother’s feelings..

Assalamualaikum. I’m writing today to express my feelings that could easily be touched these days. Maybe you’d feel that way once you’re a mother. It’s been hard to hold back tears no matter if it’s for joy or sadness. Latest tears shed were because my eldest son turned 2 years old today. How time flies and he’d grown so beautifully. Alhamdulillah.

I watched Bio channel on Astro last few nights with my husband on baby’s delivery. I watched carefully on the process of normal delivery. It looked so easy. Of course..they only show you when it’s time for the baby to pop out. When the delivery process is over, they placed the baby on the mother’s chest. I then started to burst out crying inconsolably..uhhh..the feeling of jealousy rushed through my every single vein. At least that was how it felt..=(

Okay, here’s the story. My husband and I have 6 siblings each. Mine all girls and his all boys. We’re so used to having many siblings that we wish to give the same to our children. The more the merrier they said, and it’s entirely true based on our experience. Once I found out I was pregnant, I felt like I had wings to fly. ;-)

My first baby - My water broke on the 21/6/10 at 10pm while we were about to go to sleep and did. I felt like going to the toilet at 1am. I got up and a lot of warm water rushed down my legs and we decided to go to the hospital. It was only 2cm opened and the hospital was full so they referred me to another hospital. We went to my panel clinic instead to try our luck. They induced me but my baby stayed put at his normal position and did not budge..I kept on telling him that it’s time for you to come out little one. At about 3pm, the dr told me that I had to go to the OT..sigh..I cried like a river flow..blamed myself, blamed the baby, (for no reason) It’s not like he knows what to do. I’m telling you, a pregnant mother’s emotion is very3 fragile and they are able to do lots of stupid things esp when it’s time to deliver or in confinement and under stressed moments like this. I was transferred to another hospital since I don’t think I could afford the private ambulance. I couldn’t tell on how i felt..i never went for any minor surgery and suddenly was going for a big 1..hmmm. Alas, baby Yang Syahir was safely delivered at 6.56pm at 3.42kgs on 22/6/10..Alhamdulillah.

My second baby – Due date was 26/10/11. We waited patiently but 10 days later I had an appointment to force baby to come out and see the world..hehe. I was induced at 11am on 4/11/11 alone without no company. I bared the pain and agony as long as I could and was pushed to the delivery room at hmmm..i’m not so sure about the time for this 1 as it felt soooo long..but I remembered that 6cm was opened after 16hours and baby pooped in to the OT again..redha with God’s fate at that moment. During the surgery, I felt like my heart stopped a few times..I even thought I was dying. I thought of my family throughout the whole surgery. I prayed hard for a longer life for they need me esp my babies and I need them too. I was so nervous when the doctors started asking 'eh..what's wrong with her heart?'..and the nurses asked me if I was okay. Tears ran down my cheeks but the nurses calmed me down and kept on asking me questions to keep me awake. The doctor told me later that I had bigeminy ( a state where your heart alternates one "normal" beat with one "premature" beat). Means that it was beating at irregular rhythm. This time I got to see the whole process. Baby came out at 1.15am on 5/11/11 at 3.64kgs..Alhamdulillah.

Both babies were safely delivered through surgery. I went to both surgeries feeling so alone, scared, and sad. Even my husband was not allowed to be there for me. I was not able to hold my babies and feed them immediately after they were born. The saddest part is that it’s not possible for me to provide them with lots of siblings anymore like what their parents have. I was the first to deliver my babies through c-sec in the family. Maybe that’s why I’m so easily touched when it comes to pregnancies n babies.

Here's the difference..

Normal delivery

My babies delivery

God..You’re almighty..I believe that you know what’s best for me and my family. The sad part was just a test for me to be much stronger day by day. My babies are growing very beautifully and you gave me strength to breastfeed both of them without failing. I love them so very much. I believe that I am capable of doing anything at all in the world now thanks to you dear God..we can choose to live the sorrow and be glum with our past or choose to strive for the best for our future. The choice is in our hands so be glad and cherish your Love, Laugh and Life..while you can..;-)

Here's mine..

Yang Syahir & Yang Syafiy

Thursday, 19 April 2012

Obsessed with I?..

I still remember that I once loved the colour blue so much. Most of my stuffs were in blue, but that was ages ago..while I was still in primary school as I remember. As time passes by, I'm prone to buying things in Favourite colours can change I guess. 

It was just recently that I realised that I had lots of things that are pink and that was when one of my colleagues mentioned that I looked so pink 1 day cause everything on me was in the same colour. That reminds me that I have lots of pink possessions. These are some of them with me..oh n trust me..just 'some'..hehe..

 My little pink Acer lappy

 My pink Nikon camera (notice the mirror n my office board frame? too)

My pink Elizabeth Arden perfume (Pretty)
I need to remember though that my babies are not girls. So no pink litlle things for them then. No pink clothes, shoes, accessories, and etc. But some things that I can't resist myself in purchasing...

 Pink stroller (at least parts of them are in pink and my sweater too)

Little pink boy shirts..hehe..

Okay so that's it..not too much pink things for both of you my darlings. Hey, even your daddy looks great in pink you know. See what I mean..

My boyfriend ;-)

I guess I do love the colour pink so much. It just soothes me almost every time I see it. I don't see anything wrong about it though, no matter what age you are, you're allowed to love the colour. That made me sound so old..hehe..I'm still young lah. I guess I can consider myself a little obsessed with the colour red mixed with white and I know there are lots of pink lovers out there too so I know I'm not alone. Well, my blog is pink too huh?..hahaha..then I can consider it the colour of my love, laugh and life..=)

Thursday, 12 April 2012

Cara Pengendalian Susu Ibu Perahan (SIP)


Letakkan susu ibu yg segar/cair sepenuhnya pada belah bawah peti ais.
a)      Segar = Susu yang baru diperah dan tidak pernah dibekukan (tahan 4 hari)
Nota: Susu segar ini boleh dibekukan sekiranya tidak digunakan dalam masa 4 hari
b)      Cair sepenuhnya = Susu yang dibekukan dan telah dicairkan sepenuhnya (tahan 24 jam)
Nota: Susu yang telah dicairkan ini tidak boleh dibekukan semula. Jika tidak digunakan dalam masa 24 jam, susu hendaklah dibuang.


Jangan panaskan susu ibu di atas dapur, ketuhar. Susu yang disimpan di dalam plastik/liners harus dicairkan terlebih dahulu sekiranya beku dan pindahkan ke dalam botol untuk proses pemanasan.

Gunakan warmer ataupun masukkan 1 cawan air panas dan 1 cawan air kosong dalam mangkuk kemudian rendam botol susu hingga susu suam.

Tuangkan susu yang suam ke dalam botol susu untuk penyususan bayi.

Jangan panaskan terus susu ibu yang masih beku kerana ia akan mengganggu komposisi susu tersebut. Susu seharusnya cair sepenuhnya sebelum dipanaskan. Satu cara mudah untuk mencairkan susu beku adalah dengan meletakkan botol/plastik/liner di dalam mangkuk berisi air kosong, dan simpan di peti sejuk bawah sehingga ia cair sepenuhnya.


Sila pastikan bayi dan kanak-kanak habiskan susu ibu yang telah dipanaskan dalam masa 1 jam.  Jika melebihi 1 jam, susu yang berlebihan harus dibuang. Jika bayi masih lapar, sila panaskan stok susu lain. Tiada istilah membazir dalam dunia penyusuan susu ibu. InsyaAllah stok mencukupi untuk anak-anak.

p/s: This is a Bahasa Melayu version notes edited to be printed for babysitters whom mostly are not familiar with the simplest way of handling expressed breast milk (EBM). Do feel free to share this and print them out for your babysitters too. Credit to a mummy @KIM. Happy breastfeeding mummies..=)